Thursday, September 8, 2016

Cheerleader Speaks

[NOTE - Anyone who is just beginning to read my blog might want to read the following early entries in my blog about my sissy journey before reading this latest entry: A Little More Background - Am I Sure I Should Do This? - I'm Afraid - These - Where It All Started - Then, These - Miss Flo - Caught For The First Time - About My Last Post - Bikini Panties!!! - A Virgin Bride (And Groom) - Exhausted Sissy Needs Stress Relief! - Sissy Marries Cheerleader - Sissy Makes Life With Cheerleader - Cheerleader Discovers Sissy - Cheerleader Accepts Sissy - Cheerleader And Sissy Grow - Cheerleader Asserts Control - Cheerleader Teases Sissy - Cheerleader And Sissy Settle In To New Home - Cheerleader Cucks Sissy - Cheerleader and Sissy Are Mentored - Sissy Offers Context For Cheerleader - Sissy Sees Her Future - Sissy Adapts To Chastity - Sissy And Cheerleader Spend A Weekend Apart – Our Weekend Apart Aftermath  Cheerleader Has A Heart-To-Heart With Sissy - Sissy And Cheerleader's Last Weekend With Andrea - Part One - Sissy And Cheerleader's Last Weekend With Andrea - Part Two - Cheerleader Thanks Sissy - Cheerleader Does A Sleepover - How My Cheerleader Vets Men - Cheerleader Flirts - With Purpose - Cheerleader Is A Happy Girl - Cheerleader Learns  Juggling Isnt Easy - Cheerleader Gets An Itch - My Cheerleader's Summer of Contentment – My Cheerleader and Her Quarterback -  Cheerleader and Sissy Reach Accord (And Satisfaction) - Sissy Catches Up, Cheerleader Goes Sailing - Discovered! - It Was Bound To Happen Sooner Or Later - Quarterback Discovers Leeanne - I Have Good News. And News - Quarterback Is Visiting For Labor Day.  These are the previous posts that tell the story about my sissy journey.]  
Not sure where to begin. I understand people have been wanting to hear from me.  So, here I am.  Sissy's cheerleader.  That's cute.  Can't believe she refers to me that way.  Wait.  Yes I can.  I suppose I'll go with that since I'm not telling my real name.  This blog?  What do I have to say about it?  Tricky question.  Until recently I did not know it existed.  But we know sissy got busted.  And by my ex no less.  Imagine how I felt learning about it that way.  Not happy.  Not at all happy.  I've read it now.  All of it.  At least, all that she has written about her.  And us.  A few times.  And the comments.  Interesting to read what others think of my sissy.  And us.

What do I have to say about it?  Let me start with this.  I do love my sissy.  I do.  But this blog put me in a bit of a tizzy.  I thought we had an understanding to keep what we do in the privacy of our home, private.  Not to sound defensive, since I shouldn't have to, but for the people out there who think I have been tough on my sissy, please go back and re-read her blog.  She is the one who really pushed us to where we are today.  Think about it.  I married a man.  Not a sissy.  She plopped it on me in the middle of a perfectly good marriage.  And my response?  I forgave her.  I accepted her.  I found a way to make it work.  And it was working.  But who pushed it forward?  Who kept bringing up the idea of me taking other men?  Right.  Her.  She wouldn't let it go.  I read somewhere they call that, "topping from the bottom."  She may be a sissy, but please do not kid yourselves.  She knows how to get her way.

The real question now seems to me to be, 'Where do we go from here?'  The starting point for me is that I still love her.  She is the sweetest and kindest person in my life.  She takes care of me.  Mostly.  There are some things she no longer is responsible for.  But even there, she kind of takes care of me because she has learned to thrive and be supportive, even when it hasn't been easy.  And she knows we are not going back to the way things were.  But I love her and, after much thought and discussion, I have decided to accept this blog of hers.  And she is going to accept that there may be a few added things she will need to deal with.  Like my ex.  He doesn't make decisions for me.  Understand that.  But what he and I have does mean something to me.  And I do like pleasing him.  I suppose it is somewhat akin to how she is with me, and my men.  I get something out of submitting to him.  I always have, but did not understand it back when we were married in the way I have come to over the past few years that he and I have been back together.  And he kind of gets off on this new thing we have discovered about my sissy.  Notice how I keep saying, "my sissy?"  Please understand that.  She is my sissy.  Not his sissy.  Mine.  He gets that.  But I can choose to let him have some control over her, and if I want her to submit to him, she will.  And I have made that choice.  Effective immediately.

But there is something else I think people who have been following my sissy's blog need to know.  My sissy?  This isn't going to be a bad thing for her.  There may be some difficult moments.  I don't know exactly what my ex has in store for her.  But she gets off on submitting to my men, and maybe especially my ex.  I've had a front row seat on too many occasions to not be an expert on this subject.  When she is doing all of the things she has done for my men over the past several years since I began cuckolding her, there is no reluctance on her part.  None.  She loves what she does.  And so do I.  It took me a while to get it.  Her.  And me.  I could see early on that she loved submitting to my men.  It took me longer to appreciate all that it meant for me.  And us.  It is the most complicated thing I have ever had to grapple with and understand in my life.  But I got here.  So, when her blog was revealed to me, and my ex wanted to exert some influence over her, I was forced to figure out one more complicated quirk about my sissy.  She and I have talked about it.  A lot.  My ex and I have talked about it.  A lot.  And now I have come to my conclusion.  I'm letting sissy keep her blog.  I'm letting her continue to post her little sissy fantasies and whatever.  I have even been convinced that it isn't a huge deal to let her write about us.  But, there will be a few changes.  To begin with, I might butt in from time to time if I think it is needed to give another perspective on what she writes.  And my ex is going to have some latitude (quite a bit actually) to exert some influence over her and what she writes about.  And there will be a few other changes that I'm not going into here now.  But my sissy will probably be asked to tell about them later.

I will admit this one thing.  I am sort of looking forward to reading the responses to this revelation.  I might even consider responding to respectfully worded and reasonable questions.  About me and my decision.  About my sissy, as I see her.  Even my ex.  I know.  He can be a bit of a brute.  But he is not an awful person.  He was my first.  And he was my best.  He did me wrong.  A long time ago.  Life is short.  Things happen.  My sissy and I have the life we have, and she is equally responsible for where we are going as I am.  My ex is along for the ride at this point, and I'm letting him investigate his feelings toward sissy.  So, say what you want about him.  Understand this though.  My sissy likes what we have.  She thrives on whatever it is that turns on sissies like her.  And there seem to be a lot like her in this world.  I'm just glad that I love mine and that there are still real men out there.

Bye for now,

Cheerleader


P.S.  Photos compliments of my sissy.

27 comments:

  1. Hi Cheerleader,

    Thanks so much for your input. It has really helped. I do get your need for real men.
    What has comforted me and I hope others is your deep-rooted love for Leeanne - Her love for you has shone throughout her blog and I'm sure you realise that when reading it. There have been challenging times for both of you - you accepting Leeanne ans Leeanne accepting your need for real men, especially your ex.

    I really hope , with all the challenges, that your love remains unimpaired and continues to flourish - that is the most important thing for both of you in my opinion.

    My opinion on your ex is irrelevant, as long as you and Leeanne remain strong and committed to one another.

    Love always Tanya xxxxx

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    1. Tanya,

      I have read your comments throughout my sissy's blog. You seem like a very nice person who cares about other people. I want to assure you that I do love my sissy. She is a sweet-hearted person who is devoted to me and my needs. I appreciate her and what she does for me. And for my men. I have no intention of doing anything to harm her.

      Cheerleader

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  2. Cheerleader,

    I have followed Leeanne's account of your relationship since the very first post, and have found her candor about her journey to be both refreshing and illuminating. So much of the fiction written about this lifestyle is disappointing to me because there often seems to be no love between the mistress and her sissy, or at least, none that flows from the mistress to the sissy. I definitely see love flowing both ways in your non-fiction story. What the story has lacked is your perspective...your journey from cheerleader-wife to cheerleader-mistress. Perhaps some of the episodes Leeanne has described in her blog were also significant to your journey. I would personally be interested in hearing those perspectives from time to time. Best of luck going forward...I think your best days are ahead.

    Love, Wendy

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    1. Wendy,

      Wow! So you have been following along since my sissy first started her blog? Interesting. I am glad to hear that she has managed to portray me in a positive light - as she should. A lot of wives would never have forgiven the betrayal I felt when I first discovered that the man I thought I married was really a sissy, complete with all that I have since learned and accepted as she revealed more and more of her "true self" to me. I suppose if you continue to follow along, you may learn more about my view of sissy's world.

      Cheerleader

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  3. Hi.
    I'd like you to know what a wonderful friend and inspiration your sweet Leeanne has been to me. She has been a strong friend and a sympathetic shoulder to lean on more than once!!!
    Thank you so much for allowing her to continue the blog and I look forward to reading your perspectives of the sissy lifestyle. Real first hand female perspective is not really all that common.

    In my case my wife knows about the blogging and as long as I follow her rules she really has no problems with it..
    1 No pictures where either of us can be identified as this could adversely impact her career
    2 No real names...ever
    3 She can add more rules whenever she sees the need.

    I always wish the best for the two of you and now you can hear it from me! These relationships are tricky and finding a way to really make it work is rare but from what I've read from your sweet Sissy husband I think you two are handling everything just right!!!

    Love to you both
    Kaaren

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    1. Kaaren,

      You and my sissy seem to be quite good friends. I have noticed many exchanges between the two of you throughout her blog. I must tell you that I am not surprised to find that you like her - she is quite a likable person. Even in her male life she is a very considerate person who doesn't like it when people are mistreated. I think that is one of the things that made her such a ferocious prosecutor - always looking out for the weak and victims of the world. Thank you for being such a good friend to my sissy.

      Cheerleader

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  4. Cheerleader, I think much of everyone's concern, as was mine last year when I commented on a post, that Leeanne not be hurt emotionally. I'm sure we all are comforted by your words here. And transitioning from being married to a man to your current relationship had to be quite difficult. Believe me, we (my wife and I) know. As I mentioned in Leeanne's previous post, our marriage is bascially going from a long time heterosexual marriage to a same-sex marriage with my transition male to female. Thankfully, my wife has always been attracted to both men and women so it's not that big a deal inside the house but now she has to adjust to having a wife instead of a husband in public. Again as I said her previous post, just as we will make our relationship work with love, if your relationship works for you and makes both of you happy then all the better.

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    1. Beverly,

      Am I to understand that you are having sexual reassignment surgery? You will actually become a woman? And your wife accepts that? I must tell you that I don't think I could ever accept that from my sissy. And so, when it comes to the acceptance and understanding department, I must say that I think your wife has me beat. I wish you the best as you and she take on such a weighty challenge.

      Cheerleader

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  5. Dear Sissy's Chearleader (sounds very cute),

    first of all thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us. We were very surprised to get
    some lines from you. Nice! We are very impressed about your and Leanne's journey. From the early beginning to the current day. To handle these kind of improvement, to got help from Andrea and Randall, to find the right way for accepting and acting.

    Your decision to accept Leanne as the sissy she is and to accept your sexual desires in this open way is something unique.

    Also to have a high quality blog like this and to allow Leanne to share the story further on is also amazing. Enjoy our comments.

    The pictures of Leanne are very nice and very feminin . Maybe we'll see more in future *smile*.

    We're looking forward to read more about your, Tom's and Leanne's journey. Life is short that's true, so enjoy every minute with your lovely sissy and your men, especially Tom. It seems it will work well, for you and for her.

    Kisses
    Lady Sonja

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    1. Lady Sonja,

      Yes. Life is short. And I am learning more and more that there is more to it than even I imagined. My sissy may have introduced a major hurdle for me in my life when she dropped the bombshell that she was a sissy - not a real man. But, as you note, I have been the recipient of other benefits, none of which am I complaint about. As for photos? That is something I am still not pleased about. I worry that someone might see my old husband lingering beneath that pretty sissy facade. But you never know. Some wise person once said, "Never say Never."

      Cheerleader

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    2. Dear Cheerleader,

      to worry about that somebody might find out that you've a wonderfull Sissy and this is your husband, yes that makes sence.

      I'm remembering that Leeanne has posted some pics of her in the beginning of this blog. Very cute pictures in Lingerie in your bedroom and very feminin.
      There is also a possibility to modify the pic's with gimp (a free tool) and put a nice kittenmask or something else (cocksucker banner) over her face.
      There are tons of how-to videos in YouTube to do that. I think it's also a part of degrading to show her in her nice dresses or kitten-outfit to the community.
      I think it will flatter her,to get some nice comments.

      Kisses
      Lady Sonja

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  6. Ms. Cheerleader-
    Thank you for writing, and allowing the blog to continue, albeit with changes. i think my main reaction is how my Wife would take a similar situation, and what She would be saying in your shoes (high heels?). And i'll admit to getting a special pang of excitement when You mentioned your ex will have influence on what sissy writes in future posts.
    ~sara

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    1. sara,

      Whatever do you mean by you "getting a special pang of excitement" when you read that I may have some additional future influence over my sissy? Some of the hints of what my sissy's readers hope for have gotten me to thinking about how I might help my sissy explore some of her fantasies.

      Cheerleader

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  7. You are a very thoughtful and loving wife. i'm sure the changes you write about are causing Leeanne some anxiety but it's evident from what you wrote that you will keep a close eye on things so that she suffers no harm. Maybe a little embarrassment but no harm...lol. Enjoy.

    love,

    sissy terri

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    1. sissy terri,

      So, you are another of my sissy's close friends. The two of you certainly do seem to be quite intimate with each other, from what I've been reading. And from your comment here, do I detect some enjoyment that she might be experiencing more than a little extra embarrassment?

      Cheerleader

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  8. Dear Ms. Cheerleader,
    I had assumed that You knew about the blog in some fashion. I am sorry that it came as
    a surprise. I really am sorry to hear it happened this way.

    I do accept that she wanted her sissy role. I also understand that she wanted You to take on other men. I also understand that she enjoys submitting to the men in Your life.

    Remember, You are in control of her, and if You feel it is appropriate, punishment may be
    what she needs.

    How did You come to accept her as a sissy?
    Is she no longer a man in Your eyes?
    Do You think Your sissy needs to please a mother and father figure?

    Thank you and best wishes to all of you.


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  9. Hi Cheerleader!

    I can't tell you how happy (and surprised) I was to hear from you. I think what you both have gone through is amazing. The intelligence, flexibility, adaptability, the way you went about making it happen once the decision had been made... just incredibly impressive. I hope we do hear from you more in the future and I don't think Tom is being brutish - he's being an alpha male and, in my opinion, not going outside of the lines that have been set by you and leeanne in your exploration of this wonderfully fascinating life style. Thank you so much for once again adapting, allowing the blog to continue and for sharing! And I couldn't agree with Lady Sonia's comment more.

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    1. Michael,

      Thank you for the compliment. I must say that I agree with you. The "intelligence, flexibility and adaptability" that I have shown toward my sissy has be rather impressive. I assure you that this has not been an easy journey for me either. If I were writing about it from the perspective I hade back at the beginning - or even a few years ago - I imagine my tone would be altogether different. But we are where we are, and much water has flowed over the dam at this point - so this is the perspective that I have to offer. I'm not even sure if I could go back and recreate how I felt back in the beginning.

      Cheerleader

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  10. Good morning Cheerleader,

    You are a strong woman. In the face of being blindsided by a husband who found himself, in her, and than again by finding out about the blog from your ex, and current lover. You still happen to render a decision about your your sissy, and your lover's current and future situation.

    You decided to stay with your sissy after she exposed her inner feelings to be her own woman. Your sissy made a few mistakes along the way, that is to be expected. And that is the reason why she requires a strong woman like yourself.

    You two have a special relationship that can stand the test of time. It is up to the two of you to decide if it will continue for many years.

    Hopefully it will because I find both of you special in love.

    Ms. Judi and Sissy Mishel
    Good luck to the both of you.

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    1. Ms. Judi and Sissy Mishel,

      May I ask a question of the two of you? Are you also wife and husband? How much of my sissy's story is similar to yours? I would, very much, enjoy hearing the perspective of another wife who discovered her husband isn't a real man. If you are so inclined to share?

      Cheerleader

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  11. Cheerleader, I think you have handled things amazingly well from you sissy's coming out to finding a way to keep your marriage together to finding out about her blog from your ex.

    I have a few questions if you are willing to answer them:
    1. Are you sissy's past blog entries largely factually accurate?
    2. Were you involved in bringing Andrea into your sissy's life or was this purely Randall's idea?
    3. I note that you use feminine pronouns when referring to your sissy, do you still see him/her as a man are is she a feminine person in your eyes now?
    4. How much of the time is your sissy dressed en femme when you are not entertaining one of your men?

    kristen

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    1. kristen,

      You ask so me interesting factual questions. One thing I can say about my sissy - she is not one to sugarcoat details. Yes. Her recounting of how things progressed from the beginning of our marriage to now are largely accurate. If there is any point that I might criticize her retelling of her story, it is only in that it is her version of feelings felt - but that seems to me to be expected. As for me referring to her in the feminine pronoun, it is solely because in her role as my sissy she is so very much a she that it would sound awkward to refer to her as he. When we are home, she spends her time dressed in some manner openly feminine, even if not always completely "made up," as she is when my men visit. As for Andrea? Well, Andrea was certainly an important and instrumental person in my acceptance of my sissy - as well as in helping reveal to me how I felt about it all. And for Andrea I am solely in the debt of my first real man since sissy revealed herself to me - Randall.

      Cheerleader

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  12. Dear Cheerleader,
    Many of us have read Leeanne’s blog with pleasure. His travels and growth as a sissy have been interesting to experience. As one close in age, I felt especially close to his (or her) journey. Had circumstances been a little different for myself I may have been able to trod a similar road. I often was envious of Leeanne’s adventures. Unfortunately, my wife is not quite as open as you.
    While many of us have praised Leeanne for his/her courage, I know I felt your own struggle. I am glad for the two of you that you were able to find a common path. Your love for each other has shown through and we all look forward to your being able to enjoy each other for years to come (or is it cum?).
    You can only be glad that Leeanne (so far anyway), has not gone all the way to a Male to Female transition. You may be interested in this other couple’s journey. It was written when the Jenner transition was in the headlines http://journalstar.com/news/opinion/editorial/columnists/column-when-he-becomes-she-what-about-me/article_297b4ad0-8615-5da3-b8d2-5ab878aa2f81.html
    But the whole question of transitioning brings forth my first question: how do you think your relationship will develop. At this stage in your (couple) journey, you refer to sissy as “she” and we know Leeanne is truly feeling free and happy to dress and act the sissy when home. Yet Lee (if that be your husband’s name) is a successful and would appear to be dominant male in the “real” world. During your transition, you “played the sissy game” from time to time. Yet in between, you were husband and wife. I refer you back to the posting “Cheerleader and Sissy Reach Accord and Satisfaction”. In that post, Lee writes “My cheerleader left me out of chastity the entire holiday and we made love every night through New Year’s Eve. It was a wonderful time for us.” Now we see you writing “There are some things she is no longer responsible for”. Perhaps I read too much into that statement. So the question is, can you put Leeanne on the shelf for periods of time by mutual agreement? Times when Lee and his wife live the life of two 50/60 somethings without the excitement of Leeanne?
    My next questions are a little of the practical.
    How will you manage the next phase of your life (when it happens) as grandparents? Somehow I feel Leeanne will be on the shelf during those visits.
    Do you see Leeanne in your picture in your retirement community?
    Tom found out Leeanne’s blog. Do you have any concerns that your boys might discover the blog on their own? Or perhaps, Tom might let something slip (intentionally or unintentionally) that would let the cat out of the bag. Do you have a plan to answer their questions, if necessary?
    My final comment though is positive. I am truly happy that you as a couple have found a way to enjoy life to the fullest. While not mainstream acceptable, it works for the two of you. I hope to hear more of how the two of you relate and grow. At this point, Leeanne has a lot of holes to fill (in his story – not you – hey, can’t I put one funny line in?). We all look forward to this more open journey!

    Kisses
    Billie Cee

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  13. Dear Cheerleader
    I remembered another thought. And now I see Leeanne has added to her blog. Skimming through the post, it looks like life is good for all.

    Earlier I had encouraged Leeanne to share her blog with you. I felt you should have known the range of emotions he was experiencing and not communicating with you. I am sure one of your emotions when you did finally read his story (besides his sharing to the public) was hurt that he did not feel comfortable to really express his feelings to you.

    But my question is; if you had read his blog, if Leeanne had been able to communicate his hesitations, do you think you would have acquiesced as readily? Afterall, the two of you always had (and appear to have) a strong marriage. At any point I think either one of you could have said enough.
    While events have progressed and life is still positive, I am curious to know if you would have put a stop to things.

    Kisses

    Billie Cee

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    1. Billie Cee,

      So many questions! I apologize, but I do not think I can give you the same detail in my reply that you put into your comment. However, I will try to touch on your overall inquiry. I have no idea how I many have reacted to learning about my sissy's blog if it had been revealed to me by her early on. That my ex discovered it as he did, and presented his view on it to me when telling me about it, may have inured to my sissy's benefit. All I can say is that I am accepting it now. As for others finding about it? I can't foresee how that would happen, but I can only say it doesn't happen. And as for my sissy going further in some sort of male to female transition, I would not be likely to support such a thing. But I really don't think she wants that. She seems quite content with the level of feminine expression I have given her the freedom to express. You ask about retirement? I must admit that I don't see how retirement would impact what we do. We are living this life now. Why would we stop in retirement?

      Cheerleader

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  14. Dear Cheerleader

    It is wonderful to see your words and impressions on this blog. I can understand why sissy loves you so fully and i understand why this has been a challenge for you to understand, to accept, and live with. I have followed this story since the first posting, though it has been awhile since I have visited here. Your joining in this conversation speaks volumes about your love and caring. As a married sissy i now how strong my desires are to express and cherish the woman inside me. As a submissive i know how much i desire having my submission accepted and embraced by my wife, who i love dearly. We have traveled some steps along this way but not so far as you and sissy have. I envy so much of what i see told in this blog while also knowing that any relationship calls for constant work and one that travels such unexpected paths, especially so. You are quite remarkable and sissy is so lucky to be in your loving hands.

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